| Does the DMV (Department of Motor
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| | date. Where we would go was a tossup
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| Vehicles) hire extras just to make the
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| | between a trendy upper East Side night
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| place look busy?They say that living to a
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| | spot for young singles and a downtown
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| ripe old age is a blessing. But when you
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| | senior citizen's ball, depending on when
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| do it while standing on line at the DMV,
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| | we got out.By now our line had gotten
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| you begin to see things from an entirely
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| | shorter by twenty-three people. Eight had
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| different perspective. Suddenly, the
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| | renewed their licenses, four were on the
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| expression "something to look forward to"
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| | wrong line, three were in the wrong
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| can mean something as mundane as seeing a
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| | country, six died of natural causes, and
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| DMV employee get back from lunch to take
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| | one asked for political asylum.One guy,
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| care of huge line. And the emotional
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| | who wasn't too familiar with our language
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| impact of the simple word "next" can
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| | or customs, thought he was being picked
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| bring tears of joy trickling down your
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| | out of a lineup when the woman behind the
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| cheeks -- you'd think it was written by
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| | window looked at him and yelled "Next!"
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| the poet Yusef Komunyakaa.Probably the
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| | He confessed to two burglaries and a
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| most frightening phrase you can hear at
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| | subway turnstile jumping. The man now
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| the DMV is, "It's a clerical error." This
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| | works for the DMV, sort of -- he makes
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| phrase can mean almost any imaginable
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| | license plates at an upstate correctional
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| horrible thing you can conjure up. It can
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| | facility.When I finally reached the
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| mean that you'll have to come back and
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| | window, the woman asked to see two forms
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| waste another day. It can mean that
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| | of identification. I showed her a major
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| you'll have to retake the road test you
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| | credit card and a picture ID. Taking a
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| already passed because your records have
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| | quick look at the picture, she said,
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| been misplaced. Or it can mean that due
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| | "This doesn't look like you."I said, "It
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| to a misspelling of your name, you're now
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| | did when I arrived. I was younger
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| on the FBI's most wanted list. And it's
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| | then."She pointed to an eye chart and
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| not even proper decorum to get angry
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| | asked, "Can you read the bottom line?"I
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| about such things. You see, it's not
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| | said, "Can I read it? I know the guy. He
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| really their fault -- making errors is
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| | works for a Greek car service on my
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| part of the system.But things at the DMV
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| | block."Upon my passing the eye exam, she
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| have improved somewhat over the years. On
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| | stamped my forms, saying, "Your license
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| some "lines," instead of standing for
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| | will be good for four years." Then,
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| hours, as was the case in years gone by,
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| | gleefully pointing to a long cashier's
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| you now take a number, sit down on a
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| | line, she added, "You can pay at the
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| bench and watch a large electronic board
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| | cashier.""Four years from when?" I asked.
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| with a confusing array of numbers. Every
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| | "From when I get on the line or from when
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| now and then, someone yells
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| | get off the line?" If looks could kill,
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| "Bingo!"Having spent my share of time at
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| | the look she gave me could've killed a
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| the DMV, I've found that in addition to
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| | Brontosaurus the size of a DMV backlog.On
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| spending about seventy percent of your
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| | the cashier's line I wound up near a guy
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| time waiting on lines, you spend about
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| | listening to a small radio. After two
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| ten percent looking for the right line
| |
| | hours of eavesdropping on news reports
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| and about fifteen percent taking
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| | and financial updates, I found out that
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| directions from security personnel who
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| | in the time I'd been waiting on this
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| couldn't give you clear enough directions
| |
| | line, the dollar had devaluated by about
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| to find the ocean on a cruise ship.My
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| | four percent on the Japanese market, our
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| first line, on one particular occasion,
| |
| | national debt had risen by about six
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| was the "picture" line. That's where
| |
| | percent, and my patients was wearing
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| everyone "fixes up" and smiles for a
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| | thinner by about eighteen percent.By the
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| picture that'll never be seen by anyone
| |
| | time I reached the cashier's window, I
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| except cops. And these pictures never
| |
| | had a pretty solid understanding of how
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| come out right. Anyone who actually looks
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| | the world financial markets operate --
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| like the picture on his or her driver's
| |
| | but I still hadn't the foggiest clue as
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| license is too ill to drive.My next line
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| | to how the DMV does. Is the DMV's system
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| was so crowded, one guy fainted. But no
| |
| | designed to make the place look busy? Is
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| one noticed it because he couldn't fall
| |
| | it crowded because they have no system?
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| down till six people got off.After
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| | Or is the DMV just a stepping stone for
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| several hours of ruffling my forms so
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| | moving up to a better career; like, if
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| they wouldn't get moldy before I reached
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| | you work really slow here you can
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| the window, I met Cindy, who had just
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| | eventually move up to becoming a postal
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| moved from bench six to bench seven
| |
| | employee.Cindy and I were reunited
|
| because bench six was being radiocarbon
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| | outside and shared a cab. I asked the
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| tested by scientists to see what's the
| |
| | cabbie to step on it. Cindy asked what
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| longest anyone ever sat on it.We found
| |
| | the rush was. I said, "No rush, I'd just
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| out we had a lot in common. Our licenses
| |
| | forgotten what 'fast' looked
|
| expired in the same month. At one point
| |
| | like."Growing Old At The DMV
|
| in our lives, we both received collection
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| | from shopndrop.comJosh Greenberger: A
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| notices for summonses we never received.
| |
| | computer consultant for over two decades,
|
| And at our last visit to the DMV, both of
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| | the author has developed software for
|
| our faces appeared on milk containers by
| |
| | such organizations as NASA's Goddard
|
| the time we got out.She showed me
| |
| | Institute of Space Studies, AT&T, Charles
|
| pictures of her pets. They were the most
| |
| | Schwab, Bell Laboratories and Chase
|
| adorable little puppies I'd ever seen.
| |
| | Manhattan Bank. Since 1984, the author's
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| Not having pets or kids of my own, I
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| | literary works have appeared in such
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| showed her pictures of my last collision.
| |
| | periodicals as The New York Post, The
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| She was impressed. She said it took a lot
| |
| | Daily News, The Village Voice, The Jewish
|
| of talent to twist a fender into the
| |
| | Press, and others. His articles have
|
| shape of the Big Dipper at only three
| |
| | ranged from humor to scientific to
|
| miles per hour. And I'm not even an
| |
| | topical events. Visit his site
|
| astronomer.As time wore on, we hit it off
| |
| | ==>shopndrop.
|
| so well, we made plans to go out on a
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| |
|
